There's not enough maarmie left in this body to come to you as her, so, instead, I'll be coming to you as myself. But this won't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last.
Writing this blog has been a strange experience for me. This maarmie character didn't turn out to be a character at all, even though, at times, I liked to think that's all she was. I wanted to think she was merely the voice of some fictional embittered woman, one who had grown tired of disappointments and was ready to strike back any way she could. One who, through having a voice on the Internet, could unburden herself by writing about bad bosses, bad people, bad men, bad public policy, bad situations, a bad world. One who was finally going to be able to get some power through that voice.
All along, maarmie has been me, a little pocket of my personality, thought patterns, fears and hopes that grew larger with every post. maarmie gained power through this blog, indeed, and she, in time, gained strength in me as a result. It wasn't fun, but I suppose it was cathartic. Perhaps it was a necessary stage for me after having gone through the shit I've gone through the last few years and throughout my life. But I've come to realize that, through my poor decisions, I played a larger role in what I went through than I care to admit. Because of my previous pathetic needs to please others and be liked at almost any cost, I put myself in and stayed in situations that were unhealthy for me, and, frankly, beneath me.
All that has changed. Perhaps I have maarmie to thank for it. She may have acted as my bridge to a better way of being.
maarmie's musings
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
If you can't go to the UK, then the UK shall come to you
From: The Olde Travel Agente, London Towne
Hear ye, hear ye!
Let It Be Known that (insert name) has hereby booked himself passage on ye olde steam boat to the colonies of New America.
He's a-coming, oh yeah, it's for real.
Signed
Her Maj., the Queen
Hear ye, hear ye!
Let It Be Known that (insert name) has hereby booked himself passage on ye olde steam boat to the colonies of New America.
He's a-coming, oh yeah, it's for real.
Signed
Her Maj., the Queen
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Turkey-induced Thanksgiving nightmares
Since I'm an orphan, my friends and coworkers always know that I'll need to be taken in on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year for Christmas, I try to go somewhere where there's snow. Two years ago, I went to Montana. Before that, it was Providence, Rhode Island, and Boston. This year, I'd like to be in Scotland, but I don't think that's going to happen, so my Christmas plans are up in the air if there are any takers out there who want to play host for me that day.
For Thanksgiving this year, I went to two homes for two very different meals and to a third home for a little Thanksgiving greenery. I didn't show up to the meals emptyhanded, however. I made cornbread! And not just any cornbread. Cornbread that required boogers in snot sauce. I wasn't sure it would turn out OK (this thought was made worse by the fact that I almost threw up while I was stirring the mess and was driven to exclaim "this stuff smells like shit" when I was checking on it in the oven). But it turned out fine, of course, as evidence by these photos. Call me Betty Crocker.
Kitchen overview
For Thanksgiving this year, I went to two homes for two very different meals and to a third home for a little Thanksgiving greenery. I didn't show up to the meals emptyhanded, however. I made cornbread! And not just any cornbread. Cornbread that required boogers in snot sauce. I wasn't sure it would turn out OK (this thought was made worse by the fact that I almost threw up while I was stirring the mess and was driven to exclaim "this stuff smells like shit" when I was checking on it in the oven). But it turned out fine, of course, as evidence by these photos. Call me Betty Crocker.
Kitchen overview
First, there was the cornmeal, 1.5 cups
Then flour, 1/2 cup
Buttermilk, 1 cup
Olive oil, 1/4 cup
2 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1 tsp. sugar and 1 tsp. salt
Two large eggs
Snot sauce, aka creamed corn, 1 can (8 ounces)
Boogers, aka diced green chilis, 1 can (4 ounces)
Cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup (2 ounces)
Stir for 30 seconds
Empty pan, sides and bottom greased
Pour it in
20-30 minutes in 450 degrees. Et voila!
Oops, I forgot the chili powder (1 tsp.). They were good anyway!
I made two of these, one for a coworker who invited me to her mom's house to eat with her, her ex-husband, her current live-in boyfriend and her son from hubby #1. We played Scrabble. We had the typical turkey feast that included this fabulous stuffing and some kind of pumpkin trifle that just happened to be the best dessert I've ever had in my life before playing Scrabble. I came in third out of four people. I was almost in second place. Swear.
Afterward, I went to my friend Michael's house to eat with him, his wife, his two sons, one daughter and their significant others and children. Vegetarians, all of them, so we ate tempeh (moldy soybeans) with cheese, salad, potatoes, green beans, cranberries, pumpkin and apple and blueberry pies, etc. Delish. Topped off the evening at my coworker's house where we lit a fire among other things and finished the evening on a mellow note.
A superior Thanksgiving was had by all, though I had the munchies at 3 a.m. and finished off most of my turkey leftovers. Hence the title of this post.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
ze frank fights...er...writes back
ze frank, the latest, greatest comic who gives me a chuckle each day, has recently honored me with a nugget of wisdom, one I feel just maybe might could solve one of the most confounding riddles that plagues humankind: What is love?
Being that I am mildly insane at most and not at all in my right mind at least, I wrote him this romantic missive by way of introduction:
----------
On 11/15/06 1:12 PM, "maarmie maarmie" wrote:
You're smart.
You're funny.
You're cute.
I'm horny.
No, I'm in love.
No. Horny.
In love?
What is love?
No, just horny.
Love.
Horny.
Love.
Horny.
Keep up the good job.
----------
In lieu of barricading his apartment door, forwarding my message to the local authorities or ignoring the e-mail so as not to egg on a would-be stalker/attacker, the luscious ze chose, instead, to potentially thrust himself in harm's way by answering the one question buried deep inside my emotional outpouring. Yes, he, or someone mightily resembling himself, responded thusly:
----------
love is just horny + valium.
----------
A comic genius AND an insightful philosopher? Once I obtain ze's home address, he can look forward to stumbling upon one pair of crusty undies steeped in my deepest affections. Muahhahahahaha!
Being that I am mildly insane at most and not at all in my right mind at least, I wrote him this romantic missive by way of introduction:
----------
On 11/15/06 1:12 PM, "maarmie maarmie"
You're smart.
You're funny.
You're cute.
I'm horny.
No, I'm in love.
No. Horny.
In love?
What is love?
No, just horny.
Love.
Horny.
Love.
Horny.
Keep up the good job.
----------
In lieu of barricading his apartment door, forwarding my message to the local authorities or ignoring the e-mail so as not to egg on a would-be stalker/attacker, the luscious ze chose, instead, to potentially thrust himself in harm's way by answering the one question buried deep inside my emotional outpouring. Yes, he, or someone mightily resembling himself, responded thusly:
----------
love is just horny + valium.
----------
A comic genius AND an insightful philosopher? Once I obtain ze's home address, he can look forward to stumbling upon one pair of crusty undies steeped in my deepest affections. Muahhahahahaha!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Stephen Colbert was here
Stephen Colbert came to speak at Florida State University's homecoming powwow last night. He wore a suit. He did his political bit. He added bits about Florida. He added bits about Florida State University football (rah! rah! rah!) and it's not like he really cared about Florida State's loooooosing team but it's the...bit?...that?...counts?
He's hot. I want to have his baby. Some other girl in the audience wanted HIM to have HER baby - and loudly proclaimed her passion to him and the other thousands who attented.
I took lots of bad photos at the event. This posting holds the best of the worst, including this one:
where Colbert was giving a geography lesson to show us that Tallahassee is where the balls of America would be - noticeable pause for comedic effect - if America HAD any balls. Hee haw! Snore!
He had a "today's word" to introduce a bit about how crazy/zany/weird/pick a word Floridians are
and talked about pot, being a college student, football, Florida, Bush, politics, blah, blah, blah. He was dynamic. He was, as always, cute. He tried to be funny. But with many of the same tired lines, it's kinda hard.
But I'm glad I went.
Because, if nothing else,
Colbert is a smart, little hottie
who can make my panties wet.
Friday, November 03, 2006
HI, HOW ARE YOU
If you haven't seen it yet, you need to check out The Devil and Daniel Johnston, a nifty little biopic about Daniel Johnston, the most famous musician who hardly ever was. His life was/is a brilliant nuclear mess, and this T-shirt I just bought -
the cover of his very first album - is way cool. He's still performing all over the world. I don't know whether to bow to him, fear him or pity him. Probably a little of all three.
the cover of his very first album - is way cool. He's still performing all over the world. I don't know whether to bow to him, fear him or pity him. Probably a little of all three.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Happy Harroween
Instead of sitting at home Halloween night watching some scary movie on TV that I've already seen a million times, I decided to go to the mall and buy myself a few treats - namely these:
and these:
And what day - much less holiday dedicated to sweet, sweet candy meat - would be complete without a sackful of these:
If only I had a costume, I might get some candy for free for a change.
and these:
And what day - much less holiday dedicated to sweet, sweet candy meat - would be complete without a sackful of these:
If only I had a costume, I might get some candy for free for a change.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Negligent blogger
Haven't been writing lately, have I?
I could talk about how my ex friend and ex boyfriend are STILL together - surprise, surprise. I could talk about the fight my dad and I got into last weekend and how he told me he'd never talk to me again before hanging up on me. I could talk about all the weight my brother has lost and how proud I am of him. I could talk about the fact that my therapist is moving her practice, and I will have to find a new shrink. I could talk about how I won't have anyone to spend the holidays with or the awesome time I'm having taking tennis lessons. I could talk about how I survived the round of firings at work. I could talk about my plans to go to Europe for a month next year or what's going on with my law school dreams. I could talk about the nasty e-mail I sent Heather Armstrong (dooce) about her bitching and moaning over a matter in which she was clearly in the wrong. I could talk about how she's probably going to sucker punch me when she meets me at a future BlogHer conference but not the 2007 one because it's going to be held in Chicago and I've already been to Chicago and I am going to Europe for a month in 2007 anyway so why would I waste money going to BlogHer? I could talk about how I recently got screwed out of some virtual money or about the extra duties I've taken on in my volunteer work. I could talk about the cigarettes I've smoked lately or about all the sleep I've been getting, the bad dreams I've been having that include everyone I dislike including my former boss. I could talk about the weight I'm trying to lose but doing a bad job of it because I love, love, love to eat pounds of Jelly Belly jelly beans in one sitting. I could talk about my miserable foray into the disgusting bowels of The Ashley Madison Agency or about the 14 X-rays I recently had on my wrists, knees and left elbow. I could talk about today's lunch - beefaroni served up by lunch ladies in an elementary school cafeteria.
But what's the point? I no longer have a direction for my blog. Should I be "me" or should I be maarmie, a more sarcastic and nasty version of me? What should I write about? And can I keep whining about the same old shit and expect to have any readers left at the end of the day?
I could talk about how my ex friend and ex boyfriend are STILL together - surprise, surprise. I could talk about the fight my dad and I got into last weekend and how he told me he'd never talk to me again before hanging up on me. I could talk about all the weight my brother has lost and how proud I am of him. I could talk about the fact that my therapist is moving her practice, and I will have to find a new shrink. I could talk about how I won't have anyone to spend the holidays with or the awesome time I'm having taking tennis lessons. I could talk about how I survived the round of firings at work. I could talk about my plans to go to Europe for a month next year or what's going on with my law school dreams. I could talk about the nasty e-mail I sent Heather Armstrong (dooce) about her bitching and moaning over a matter in which she was clearly in the wrong. I could talk about how she's probably going to sucker punch me when she meets me at a future BlogHer conference but not the 2007 one because it's going to be held in Chicago and I've already been to Chicago and I am going to Europe for a month in 2007 anyway so why would I waste money going to BlogHer? I could talk about how I recently got screwed out of some virtual money or about the extra duties I've taken on in my volunteer work. I could talk about the cigarettes I've smoked lately or about all the sleep I've been getting, the bad dreams I've been having that include everyone I dislike including my former boss. I could talk about the weight I'm trying to lose but doing a bad job of it because I love, love, love to eat pounds of Jelly Belly jelly beans in one sitting. I could talk about my miserable foray into the disgusting bowels of The Ashley Madison Agency or about the 14 X-rays I recently had on my wrists, knees and left elbow. I could talk about today's lunch - beefaroni served up by lunch ladies in an elementary school cafeteria.
But what's the point? I no longer have a direction for my blog. Should I be "me" or should I be maarmie, a more sarcastic and nasty version of me? What should I write about? And can I keep whining about the same old shit and expect to have any readers left at the end of the day?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
New plan
Alternate decision time. I decided to put off law school for a year (Fall 2008) so I can pay off my debts, have plenty of time to study, take the test again, apply early.....and.....go to Europe for a month before I, hopefully, start law school.
I don't want to rush into anything, and there are things I have and want to do before I commit myself to years of singleminded study.
I don't want to rush into anything, and there are things I have and want to do before I commit myself to years of singleminded study.
I did worse than I ever feared
Score in moments ago: 147
I guess I, in fact, will be attending the Florida Academy for Future Psychics and Lawyers. They churn out mostly psychics, but they churn out a few, ahem, lawyers, too.
No doubt about it. I'll be taking the LSAT again in December.
I guess I, in fact, will be attending the Florida Academy for Future Psychics and Lawyers. They churn out mostly psychics, but they churn out a few, ahem, lawyers, too.
No doubt about it. I'll be taking the LSAT again in December.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
So, so tired
Yesterday's fund-raiser for America's Second Harvest of the Big Bend went off without more than a couple of hitches, a wondrous fact considering it was a first annual event.
My friend and former employer, Denise, and her employees worked for months to put on this fund-raiser, one held in the downtown park that included musical acts, poetry and literature readings and an experimental theatre piece about hunger. Hundreds of local schoolchildren crafted bowls out of yarn, clay and paper mache for the event. The empty bowls were displayed on rows of tables containing facts about hunger. A silent auction included artwork created by local artists and donated to the cause, and local eateries donated all kinds of yummy soups and breads for the people who showed up. The attendance wasn't stellar though the event had been promoted on the radio and in the newspaper, but it made the food bank some good money and laid the groundwork for similar events in the coming years.
I got there at 3 p.m. and stayed to help pack everything in the trucks after the event. My biggest job was to hang out at the table that held flyers about hunger and the food bank and one of the band's CDs that were on sale. There were about a trillion volunteers - school kids from the various Tallahassee schools - on hand to man tables, put up and take down tents and tables and pack and unpack the bowls and works of art. It was amazing to see just how much work and coordination it took to pull off such an event, and I was sad that I didn't work there anymore and couldn't have been responsible for helping the event come to fruition. That's probably why I worked so hard after the event to take down tents and load trucks, my knees stiff and hurting by the time the evening was over.
Afterward, I went with Denise and her husband, a board member and a couple of employees and friends to dinner. I didn't get home until 11 p.m., but I had a great time. The board member was a cute and single CPA who was funny and nice, too. I put in a word with Denise, and she has promised to have us both over to dinner at her house and perhaps feel out the situation with said board member.
At home, I have thrown every pencil I own into a drawer and hidden all papers and other items that remind me of the LSAT. I have been battling a desire to write to the LSAC - the people who administer the LSAT - and request that my test never be scored. I can do that, you know. I still haven't made a final decision (I still have seven more days to make up my mind) but if I decide to have the test scored, I will have the results by October 23.
Now, I am facing the task of writing a personal statement for my applications. Two people have yet to write and mail the recommendation letters they promised, so I will have to get on them (in a nice way!) as well. For the next week, though, I think all I'm going to do is sleep, read for pleasure and try to have a little fun.
My friend and former employer, Denise, and her employees worked for months to put on this fund-raiser, one held in the downtown park that included musical acts, poetry and literature readings and an experimental theatre piece about hunger. Hundreds of local schoolchildren crafted bowls out of yarn, clay and paper mache for the event. The empty bowls were displayed on rows of tables containing facts about hunger. A silent auction included artwork created by local artists and donated to the cause, and local eateries donated all kinds of yummy soups and breads for the people who showed up. The attendance wasn't stellar though the event had been promoted on the radio and in the newspaper, but it made the food bank some good money and laid the groundwork for similar events in the coming years.
I got there at 3 p.m. and stayed to help pack everything in the trucks after the event. My biggest job was to hang out at the table that held flyers about hunger and the food bank and one of the band's CDs that were on sale. There were about a trillion volunteers - school kids from the various Tallahassee schools - on hand to man tables, put up and take down tents and tables and pack and unpack the bowls and works of art. It was amazing to see just how much work and coordination it took to pull off such an event, and I was sad that I didn't work there anymore and couldn't have been responsible for helping the event come to fruition. That's probably why I worked so hard after the event to take down tents and load trucks, my knees stiff and hurting by the time the evening was over.
Afterward, I went with Denise and her husband, a board member and a couple of employees and friends to dinner. I didn't get home until 11 p.m., but I had a great time. The board member was a cute and single CPA who was funny and nice, too. I put in a word with Denise, and she has promised to have us both over to dinner at her house and perhaps feel out the situation with said board member.
At home, I have thrown every pencil I own into a drawer and hidden all papers and other items that remind me of the LSAT. I have been battling a desire to write to the LSAC - the people who administer the LSAT - and request that my test never be scored. I can do that, you know. I still haven't made a final decision (I still have seven more days to make up my mind) but if I decide to have the test scored, I will have the results by October 23.
Now, I am facing the task of writing a personal statement for my applications. Two people have yet to write and mail the recommendation letters they promised, so I will have to get on them (in a nice way!) as well. For the next week, though, I think all I'm going to do is sleep, read for pleasure and try to have a little fun.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Somebody, please kill me
At 8:15, I was sitting in my seat in a lecture hall at the FSU law school. By 1:30, the test was done. I know for certain that I completely flubbed the writing portion of the test, but I'm not sure how I did on the rest. The writing portion isn't scored, but it's send to all the law schools to which one applies. If two candidates are close in every other regard, writing samples are perused.
Considering my head is throbbing and that it was practically spinning by the time I left the testing site, I definitely wouldn't look forward to ever taking it again.
What I need right now is a four-hour nap. Instead, I am leaving right now to do some volunteer work for a friend and former boss who needs my help at an event to raise money for the hungry.
Yawn! I'll be sleeping good tonight.
Considering my head is throbbing and that it was practically spinning by the time I left the testing site, I definitely wouldn't look forward to ever taking it again.
What I need right now is a four-hour nap. Instead, I am leaving right now to do some volunteer work for a friend and former boss who needs my help at an event to raise money for the hungry.
Yawn! I'll be sleeping good tonight.
Down to the wire
It is 9:45 p.m. the night before the LSAT. I took two more practice tests today (scored 157 and 159 on them) and went to the FSU law school to see exactly where the test is being held tomorrow morning. My alarm clock is set for 6:55 a.m. so I have time to do a few practice questions in the morning (as advised by more than one source) and go over the outline of what makes a good writing sample.
I've got six sharpened pencils, a huge candy bar (a gift from a coworker for test day), a non-noise-making clock, a huge eraser, a pencil sharpener and the form I need to get into the exam all ready and waiting for tomorrow morning. I dyed my hair today so I could be freshly funky and punky for the exam, and I did my laundry today so I'll at least have clean underwear. I'm excited, and, strangely, not too terribly nervous - probably due to the hours and hours of preparatory work I put into this process.
Whatever score I get is the score I get. I'm prepared as much as I can be. That's all I can do. Why sweat the things that can't be changed. I think that's my prescription talking, folks, because it sure isn't me.
Thanks to everyone who wished me luck for the test. It means a lot.
I've got six sharpened pencils, a huge candy bar (a gift from a coworker for test day), a non-noise-making clock, a huge eraser, a pencil sharpener and the form I need to get into the exam all ready and waiting for tomorrow morning. I dyed my hair today so I could be freshly funky and punky for the exam, and I did my laundry today so I'll at least have clean underwear. I'm excited, and, strangely, not too terribly nervous - probably due to the hours and hours of preparatory work I put into this process.
Whatever score I get is the score I get. I'm prepared as much as I can be. That's all I can do. Why sweat the things that can't be changed. I think that's my prescription talking, folks, because it sure isn't me.
Thanks to everyone who wished me luck for the test. It means a lot.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
I'm still alive
The LSAT is in a few days. I'm taking Friday off for some last last minute reviewing and relaxation. These days, I've been doing nothing but taking full-length sample tests. Consistently, I have been scoring in the upper 150s - which is just the better side of AVERAGE.
AVERAGE? Who wants to be AVERAGE? AVERAGE won't get me into UM Ann Arbor. AVERAGE won't get me a scholarship. AVERAGE won't have anyone clamoring to accept me. WTF? I really expected better out of myself and will likely vomit every morning until the day of the test just like I did this morning. No food. Just burning liquid from the stomach. Yum. My favorite.
I hate feeling like the last month has been a waste, but I wonder how I would be doing on the practice tests had I not studied so much. I had a minor breakthrough with a certain type of question last week that is allowing me to answer more of that type of question correctly and am hoping I have a similar breakthrough somewhere else in the next couple of days. I tried out the June 2006 LSAT and found that the reading comprehension portion was harder than I had previously encountered. I also found that logical reasoning questions on the actual tests are easier than any I had encountered while studying.
Wish me luck.
AVERAGE? Who wants to be AVERAGE? AVERAGE won't get me into UM Ann Arbor. AVERAGE won't get me a scholarship. AVERAGE won't have anyone clamoring to accept me. WTF? I really expected better out of myself and will likely vomit every morning until the day of the test just like I did this morning. No food. Just burning liquid from the stomach. Yum. My favorite.
I hate feeling like the last month has been a waste, but I wonder how I would be doing on the practice tests had I not studied so much. I had a minor breakthrough with a certain type of question last week that is allowing me to answer more of that type of question correctly and am hoping I have a similar breakthrough somewhere else in the next couple of days. I tried out the June 2006 LSAT and found that the reading comprehension portion was harder than I had previously encountered. I also found that logical reasoning questions on the actual tests are easier than any I had encountered while studying.
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Stephen Colbert and I have a date
I waited in line for two hours Monday, but I got primo seats to see Stephen Colbert, the hot little Catholic who has his own nighttime "news" show and wasn't afraid to bitchslap the president at the Washington press corps dinner a while back.
Two friends and myself will be taking up three seats in the center of the 8th row at the Florida State powwow on November 17. The night should be interesting. Seems there's definitely a big hype surrounding the featured talent considering the tickets sold out in no time flat. Some of the young 'uns in line still aren't sure what to make of Colbert, however. A group of college-aged kids a ways back in line think he's a Republican. If they don't get his style of humor, the show might not mean much to them.
I'm counting down the days. I'm hoping to get close enough to Colbert to either get arrested or be awarded a restraining order. That would make it a good night, indeed.
Two friends and myself will be taking up three seats in the center of the 8th row at the Florida State powwow on November 17. The night should be interesting. Seems there's definitely a big hype surrounding the featured talent considering the tickets sold out in no time flat. Some of the young 'uns in line still aren't sure what to make of Colbert, however. A group of college-aged kids a ways back in line think he's a Republican. If they don't get his style of humor, the show might not mean much to them.
I'm counting down the days. I'm hoping to get close enough to Colbert to either get arrested or be awarded a restraining order. That would make it a good night, indeed.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The life of a nonprofessional catsitter
I am catsitting for the same people for whom I housesat and dogsat a couple of months ago. I go to their house every other day and refill the large feeding dishes, freshen the water bowls and empty the kitty litter box. I've already done my laundry there and scoured the fridge for something good to eat (to no avail) so I just get in and get out. No hanging around. Especially considering that one of the two cats just sits by the door when I'm there meowing and being all pissy because he's not allowed outside while my friends are gone. And cat shit? It stinks!
On the LSAT: Studying is going slowly and horribly. On two of the three types of questions that will be on the test, I consistently miss 1/3 of the questions on practice tests. I routinely answer the third type of question correctly only 1/3 of the time. I did fine when I was on a beginner book, but now I'm on more advanced books with questions that have a difficulty mirroring questions actually found on the test. The test is in two weeks. So far, I'm up the river with only 1/2 a paddle.
On the LSAT: Studying is going slowly and horribly. On two of the three types of questions that will be on the test, I consistently miss 1/3 of the questions on practice tests. I routinely answer the third type of question correctly only 1/3 of the time. I did fine when I was on a beginner book, but now I'm on more advanced books with questions that have a difficulty mirroring questions actually found on the test. The test is in two weeks. So far, I'm up the river with only 1/2 a paddle.
Monday, September 11, 2006
We got our ass kicked by a couple of old women, one of whom had a knee brace
Even though we got our ass kicked (6-0, 6-1) by a couple of old women, one of whom had a knee brace, I rocked at tennis Saturday. Here's why:
1. I wore a sporty pair of retro-style shorts with the stripes down the sides.
2. I worked on perfecting my John McEnroe impersonation by cursing - and often - when I'd hit a ball too hard for the millionth time, thus sending it beyond any semblance of a white line.
3. I raced around like an idiot doing pirouettes "en plein air" whereby slowly working on getting good at a second sport: air acrobatics.
4. I actually hit all except TWO balls that came whizzing at me.
5. My serves improved heartily once I realized we weren't going to win. I guess my nervousness wore off and my killer spin serve came back to me.
6. I regarded them as "the enemy" at the beginning but shook their hands at the end.
7. The winning opponents had been playing most of their lives, they said, and we didn't do half bad on a point-by-point basis.
My teammate and I are meeting up after work Wednesday to practice, and we play again next Saturday. Same time, different location. We'll win yet if I have anything to say - or do - about it. The evil hand of competition is rearing its ugly claw yet again. Woooooooooooo!
1. I wore a sporty pair of retro-style shorts with the stripes down the sides.
2. I worked on perfecting my John McEnroe impersonation by cursing - and often - when I'd hit a ball too hard for the millionth time, thus sending it beyond any semblance of a white line.
3. I raced around like an idiot doing pirouettes "en plein air" whereby slowly working on getting good at a second sport: air acrobatics.
4. I actually hit all except TWO balls that came whizzing at me.
5. My serves improved heartily once I realized we weren't going to win. I guess my nervousness wore off and my killer spin serve came back to me.
6. I regarded them as "the enemy" at the beginning but shook their hands at the end.
7. The winning opponents had been playing most of their lives, they said, and we didn't do half bad on a point-by-point basis.
My teammate and I are meeting up after work Wednesday to practice, and we play again next Saturday. Same time, different location. We'll win yet if I have anything to say - or do - about it. The evil hand of competition is rearing its ugly claw yet again. Woooooooooooo!
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