maarmie's musings

Thursday, March 24, 2005

How to Piss Me Off - updated regularly

Be a potential boyfriend who turns into a good friend who turns into a friend who turns into an acquaintance all the while becoming more and more of an arrogant asshole, dismissing me more and more and hurting my feelings more and more only to disappear when I finally call you on your stupid bullshit. Advice: Grow up and grow a conscience. No wonder your ex-wife cheated on you.

Host a going-away party before your move to New Jersey only to leave the party 10 minutes after some of your co-workers get there to see you off so you can go screw the dumb bitch who ripped apart your marriage, broke your shit and beat you up.

Run and hide when it's time for you to be the President of the United States of America and basically throw thousands of scared and dying people to the wolves because you don't know what the fuck to do. Why don't you do the country a favor and resign so we can get a COMPETENT president? Thanks a bunch if you do.

Be an ex-boyfriend I rarely see and then get all pissy when I don't accept your hostility and send me this as an e-mail:
"Do you know what it means to treat someone like shit? If you don't have a clue, then I can understand why you don't think that's what your doing. Otherwise, you ought to review your recent communication with me and reconsider."
Not only do you have an error in your text that crosses the boundaries of both spelling and grammar, but you also need to find someone else to vent on. It's not going to be me anymore. I owe you nothing.

Say and do things you know aren't right then lie about the whole situation to protect your smarmy ass while seriously hurting people in the process. Maybe if you weren't so full of shit yourself, you'd have less trouble trusting anyone else.

Upset my friend by calling up the random guy who asked her out at a club and metaphorically piss on her leg by informing him that you're her "boyfriend." I know you're young and relatively inexperienced, but the way to a woman's heart isn't by beating her over the head with a club and dragging her back to the cave by her hair.

Constantly blame me for someone else's mistakes. If you want to punish someone to make yourself feel mightier and more adequate, punish the person who actually erred and pick on someone your own size, you cowardly motherfucker.

Promise for two weeks that you're coming for the weekend on Friday and then not bothering to call and say you won't be here. I know it's embarassing that you don't have money or good credit to rent a car, but I deserve a damn phone call. Geesh!

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