maarmie's musings

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Turkey-induced Thanksgiving nightmares

Since I'm an orphan, my friends and coworkers always know that I'll need to be taken in on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year for Christmas, I try to go somewhere where there's snow. Two years ago, I went to Montana. Before that, it was Providence, Rhode Island, and Boston. This year, I'd like to be in Scotland, but I don't think that's going to happen, so my Christmas plans are up in the air if there are any takers out there who want to play host for me that day.

For Thanksgiving this year, I went to two homes for two very different meals and to a third home for a little Thanksgiving greenery. I didn't show up to the meals emptyhanded, however. I made cornbread! And not just any cornbread. Cornbread that required boogers in snot sauce. I wasn't sure it would turn out OK (this thought was made worse by the fact that I almost threw up while I was stirring the mess and was driven to exclaim "this stuff smells like shit" when I was checking on it in the oven). But it turned out fine, of course, as evidence by these photos. Call me Betty Crocker.

Kitchen overview

First, there was the cornmeal, 1.5 cups

Then flour, 1/2 cup

Buttermilk, 1 cup

Olive oil, 1/4 cup

2 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1 tsp. sugar and 1 tsp. salt

Two large eggs

Snot sauce, aka creamed corn, 1 can (8 ounces)

Boogers, aka diced green chilis, 1 can (4 ounces)

Cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup (2 ounces)

Stir for 30 seconds

Empty pan, sides and bottom greased

Pour it in

20-30 minutes in 450 degrees. Et voila!

Oops, I forgot the chili powder (1 tsp.). They were good anyway!

I made two of these, one for a coworker who invited me to her mom's house to eat with her, her ex-husband, her current live-in boyfriend and her son from hubby #1. We played Scrabble. We had the typical turkey feast that included this fabulous stuffing and some kind of pumpkin trifle that just happened to be the best dessert I've ever had in my life before playing Scrabble. I came in third out of four people. I was almost in second place. Swear.

Afterward, I went to my friend Michael's house to eat with him, his wife, his two sons, one daughter and their significant others and children. Vegetarians, all of them, so we ate tempeh (moldy soybeans) with cheese, salad, potatoes, green beans, cranberries, pumpkin and apple and blueberry pies, etc. Delish. Topped off the evening at my coworker's house where we lit a fire among other things and finished the evening on a mellow note.

A superior Thanksgiving was had by all, though I had the munchies at 3 a.m. and finished off most of my turkey leftovers. Hence the title of this post.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

ze frank back

ze frank, the latest, greatest comic who gives me a chuckle each day, has recently honored me with a nugget of wisdom, one I feel just maybe might could solve one of the most confounding riddles that plagues humankind: What is love?

Being that I am mildly insane at most and not at all in my right mind at least, I wrote him this romantic missive by way of introduction:


On 11/15/06 1:12 PM, "maarmie maarmie" wrote:

You're smart.
You're funny.
You're cute.

I'm horny.
No, I'm in love.
No. Horny.
In love?
What is love?
No, just horny.

Keep up the good job.


In lieu of barricading his apartment door, forwarding my message to the local authorities or ignoring the e-mail so as not to egg on a would-be stalker/attacker, the luscious ze chose, instead, to potentially thrust himself in harm's way by answering the one question buried deep inside my emotional outpouring. Yes, he, or someone mightily resembling himself, responded thusly:


love is just horny + valium.


A comic genius AND an insightful philosopher? Once I obtain ze's home address, he can look forward to stumbling upon one pair of crusty undies steeped in my deepest affections. Muahhahahahaha!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Stephen Colbert was here

Stephen Colbert came to speak at Florida State University's homecoming powwow last night. He wore a suit. He did his political bit. He added bits about Florida. He added bits about Florida State University football (rah! rah! rah!) and it's not like he really cared about Florida State's loooooosing team but it's the...bit?...that?...counts?

He's hot. I want to have his baby. Some other girl in the audience wanted HIM to have HER baby - and loudly proclaimed her passion to him and the other thousands who attented.

I took lots of bad photos at the event. This posting holds the best of the worst, including this one:

where Colbert was giving a geography lesson to show us that Tallahassee is where the balls of America would be - noticeable pause for comedic effect - if America HAD any balls. Hee haw! Snore!

He had a "today's word" to introduce a bit about how crazy/zany/weird/pick a word Floridians are

and talked about pot, being a college student, football, Florida, Bush, politics, blah, blah, blah. He was dynamic. He was, as always, cute. He tried to be funny. But with many of the same tired lines, it's kinda hard.

But I'm glad I went.

Because, if nothing else,

Colbert is a smart, little hottie

who can make my panties wet.

Friday, November 03, 2006


If you haven't seen it yet, you need to check out The Devil and Daniel Johnston, a nifty little biopic about Daniel Johnston, the most famous musician who hardly ever was. His life was/is a brilliant nuclear mess, and this T-shirt I just bought -

the cover of his very first album - is way cool. He's still performing all over the world. I don't know whether to bow to him, fear him or pity him. Probably a little of all three.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Happy Harroween

Instead of sitting at home Halloween night watching some scary movie on TV that I've already seen a million times, I decided to go to the mall and buy myself a few treats - namely these:

and these:

And what day - much less holiday dedicated to sweet, sweet candy meat - would be complete without a sackful of these:

If only I had a costume, I might get some candy for free for a change.