Turkey-induced Thanksgiving nightmares

Since I'm an orphan, my friends and coworkers always know that I'll need to be taken in on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year for Christmas, I try to go somewhere where there's snow. Two years ago, I went to Montana. Before that, it was Providence, Rhode Island, and Boston. This year, I'd like to be in Scotland, but I don't think that's going to happen, so my Christmas plans are up in the air if there are any takers out there who want to play host for me that day.

For Thanksgiving this year, I went to two homes for two very different meals and to a third home for a little Thanksgiving greenery. I didn't show up to the meals emptyhanded, however. I made cornbread! And not just any cornbread. Cornbread that required boogers in snot sauce. I wasn't sure it would turn out OK (this thought was made worse by the fact that I almost threw up while I was stirring the mess and was driven to exclaim "this stuff smells like shit" when I was checking on it in the oven). But it turned out fine, of course, as evidence by these photos. Call me Betty Crocker.

Kitchen overview

First, there was the cornmeal, 1.5 cups



Then flour, 1/2 cup



Buttermilk, 1 cup



Olive oil, 1/4 cup



2 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1 tsp. sugar and 1 tsp. salt



Two large eggs



Snot sauce, aka creamed corn, 1 can (8 ounces)



Boogers, aka diced green chilis, 1 can (4 ounces)



Cheddar cheese, 1/2 cup (2 ounces)



Stir for 30 seconds



Empty pan, sides and bottom greased



Pour it in



20-30 minutes in 450 degrees. Et voila!



Oops, I forgot the chili powder (1 tsp.). They were good anyway!



I made two of these, one for a coworker who invited me to her mom's house to eat with her, her ex-husband, her current live-in boyfriend and her son from hubby #1. We played Scrabble. We had the typical turkey feast that included this fabulous stuffing and some kind of pumpkin trifle that just happened to be the best dessert I've ever had in my life before playing Scrabble. I came in third out of four people. I was almost in second place. Swear.

Afterward, I went to my friend Michael's house to eat with him, his wife, his two sons, one daughter and their significant others and children. Vegetarians, all of them, so we ate tempeh (moldy soybeans) with cheese, salad, potatoes, green beans, cranberries, pumpkin and apple and blueberry pies, etc. Delish. Topped off the evening at my coworker's house where we lit a fire among other things and finished the evening on a mellow note.

A superior Thanksgiving was had by all, though I had the munchies at 3 a.m. and finished off most of my turkey leftovers. Hence the title of this post.