maarmie's musings

Sunday, June 17, 2007

The skinny on my impending fatness

I know I haven't written much more than a few complete sentences ever since I've found out that I'm pregnant. The truth is, it's been such a shock - not in a bad way - and there's so much that needs to be done that I haven't been focusing on much more than reading up on nutrition and exercise (I am tracking my daily nutrition at and the steps C* and I need to take to get my ass back over to the UK on a fiancee visa so we can get married and get on with our lives and our family.

On Father's Day, I told my dad that I was pregnant. Having never met or even heard of C* before (except the few facts he likely heard from my step-mom), I expected him to be full of questions about the father-to-be.


His questions were of the more masculine (read practical) variety. How long does it take to get a visa? Was this planned? When are you going to tell your boss? Etc.

But he seemed happy for me and said I sounded really happy. When I told him, he was speechless. When he regained his voice, he said to my step-mom, "Honey, she's pregnant." My stepmonster never got on the phone or asked any questions or said congratulations or anything. I'm sure she was far too busy welling up with negativity and bitterness because she allowed her own uterus and eggs to dry up like so many dead flowers while actively wanting to have a child of her own. Seriously, show her a kid, and nothing else matters. She can't get enough. Chances are, she won't be getting enough of mine, either. I'm not too keen on my child ever even meeting her.

My boss got a full briefing this morning, and many of my coworkers were told the big news yesterday. Everyone seems overjoyed for me. Naturally, they are full of questions that I don't have the energy or knowledge to answer now. All I think about is debt and vitamins and bills and and sleep and money and first doctor appointment and baby and baby and baby. And I'm wanting to get rid of as much debt as possible before I no longer have an income, am officially C's dependent and am unable to work for god knows how long.

The longer I stay here, the more debts I can pay. But the longer I stay here, the closer it gets to the delivery date and the more I'll be showing when C* and I get married.


Anonymous said...

Your life if forever changed!

savia said...

I am so happy for you!

maarmie said...

Don't be happy for me yet. There are so many financial problems and headaches and fights to deal with and have.

palinode said...

I agree with anonymous that your life if forever changed. But we're going to be happy for you no matter what you say.