Changes in my body abound in this 8th or 9th week of pregnancy, and most of it has been negative.
The pains in both sides of my abdomen have largely ceased (the doctor calls them "growing pains"), but my breasts are sore, my nipples are constantly hard, I often suffer night sweats and have trouble sleeping, I'm ALWAYS tired, I throw up about twice a day, I'm sometimes cranky and I'm incessently worried that I'm not eating healthy enough, that the cigarettes I've had have done irreparable harm, that I won't be a good enough mother, ad infinitum.
The up side is that the mood swings I have so far suffered haven't seemed to be any worse than my normal ups and downs. I stopped taking my anti-depressants, though, and, now that I've stopped smoking, it'll be interesting to see how my mood shifts from day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute. Already, C* has valiently withstood crying jags that have come from nowehere. I must say, he has handled me well so far. I hope the trend continues, and it's nice to know that I have an understanding partner to lean on when the hormones surge.
Baby names. We've had talks about them the last couple of days. Here's what we've come up with so far.
Caitlan - means "pure"
Fallyn - means "in charge"
Hannah - means "grace"
Hunter - we've been thinking "Hunter Fallyn" for the first and middle names
Niamh (pronounced Nieve) - means "bright"
Nieve - means "snowy"
Aeary - means "scholar"
Fallon - means "of a ruling family"
Flannery - means "descendant of the red warrior"
Fuller - means "cloth bleacher"
Harlow - means "from the mound of the people"
Nevan - means "holy"
I'm of a mind to find out if it's a boy or a girl well before it even thinks about being born. I want a girl, but, like I told the lady who had me fill out my paperwork at the eye doctor the other day, I won't put it up for adoption if it's a boy.
C* told The Boy about my pregnancy today. When he called me this morning, he said, "The Boy has something he wants to ask you."
"Okay," I replied suspiciously.
The Boy got on the phone. "Dad says you have a baby inside you. Do you?"
"Yes, I do," I replied.
The responding *gulp* was almost audible on the phone after which The Boy offered a hurried "OK" before practically throwing the phone back at his father.
"What did she say," I heard C* ask him in the background.
"She said, 'Yes, I do.' "
"He didn't believe me when I told him," C* revealed.
The Boy immediately asked if he could play video games on the computer. Were they his escape, or was he just not bothered? I'd be inclined to say he wasn't bothered, but you never know what's going through the mind of a young boy just after he finds out he's going to be a big brother.
C* will be here two weeks from tomorrow. The wedding is in just under three. I went dress hunting yesterday and was appalled at my dress size and the lack of anything tasteful-yet-fun-yet-not-too-revealing to wear for the wedding. The style of dress that I think would be most flattering is the babydoll style with wide sleeves, a high waistline and a full skirt that comes to the knee or just above. Kind of a modern hippie-style thing would suit me well. I found three of those at the mall yesterday that would have been good except for certain things wrong with each one.
One came in peacock colors that fit well in the tummy, arms and chest but needed to be about five inches longer. The thing barely came below my butt! Not good for a wedding.
Another one was dark in color with a nice pattern and length but fit poorly in the tummy and chest.
The third was just my style but not my size. They could order something closer to it from another store, but I'd have to pay for it up front and return it if it doesn't fit. Sounds like a hassle, but might be my only choice. I'm going to have a look around every day this week during lunch. I'm pretty flexible on what I'll wear. Could be a skirt and shirt, could be a dress. It just has to not make me look as fat as I am, and it has to be tasteful. Is that too much to ask?