Apartment Update I

I have finally finished unpacking things at my new apartment, one I don't share with anybody else. I can't tell you how great it is to finally have my own place after living in a ratty duplex with a revolving door.

Throughout my year-and-a-half stay at the duplex, I shared my space with a variety of college-aged females (and one male) who all have their own peculiarities (as if I don't). Every single one of them drove me nuts. Eating disorders. Strong religious affiliations. Bad taste in art and home decor (picture a southwestern motif mixed with the rebel flag and crosses that say "Jesus is the man of this house). Horrible taste in television shows (old westerns and sports). Mom complexes. Criminal histories. Bad attitudes. The works.

The only thing I liked about my old place more than my new place is the presence of a washing machine and dryer. The availability of these appliances should not be underestimated. One good thing and one good thing only can come from me being forced to wash my clothes at the laundromat: that I will meet a really hot single guy and break my two-year record of no penetration.

Ok. I guess the secret is out now. I haven't had sexual intercourse with a man for two years now. I'm practically a virgin again. While I was packing up my stuff at my old place, I found under my bed a box of condoms I bought about a year ago. A dozen. Two bonus condoms. That equals 14. There are 14 left. Good thing they don't expire until 2007. A girl can dream, right?

I know what all you guys out there are thinking. Yep, she's ugly. That's why she can't get laid. Well, hate to break it to you, but that's just not true. I'm actually quite decent looking, and, when I put on makeup and wear my contact lenses, I can actually be considered attractive. So, it's not that I'm physically offensive. I'm just real picky these days, and I'm not so fond of men right now.