maarmie's musings

Thursday, January 05, 2006

New Year, New Habits, New Job, New Body

I'm still depressed, but I am looking forward to the new year a little more now. I'm sure I'll be looking forward to it even more than I am now as soon as I get the prescription for Zoloft or Lexapro my therapist recommends.

A new job with the legislature came open that I'm planning on applying for. It would mean a much better job for 50 percent more money. The only problem is I'd be working for the Republicans and doing their bidding. Might not be so bad, though. The money would be great to pay off my debts and leave Florida.

Smoking: Day 3 of no smoking. That's how long I lasted last time I tried to quit. I have had three severe cravings so far in these past three days but nothing that would be enough to make me start again. I dreamt I was in a store last night. At the register, I picked up a pack of cigarettes and almost bought them. At the last second, I put them back. I think I'll make it this time.

New habit: the gym. When my back heals, I'm going to be joining the gym again. My goal is to get down to 150 pounds again to feel better about myself. Plus, I'm hoping the exercise will help release whatever chemicals will make me stop crying.

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