Last night, I had bad dreams.
That's nothing new or unusual. I have been having bad dreams my entire life. Sometimes, I wake up crying or talking, finishing the sentence in my dream as I'm waking up. Most times, I wake up with a deep feeling of unhappiness or dread. I'm not sure why I have bad dreams. Perhaps they are just my mind's way of playing out the negative thoughts that run through my head at various times throughout the day, of playing out the crushing disappointments, frustrations, and abandonment that I revisit and revisit and revisit.
Last night's dreams involve people being nasty to me. I can't go into details as I don't remember any, but some of it involved K****, and it had something to do with rejection.
I was just rereading old posts from 2007 and came across this one. It is making me very sad. I had forgotten that my dad laughed at me when I crapped out on my LSAT and then told me he was never talking to me again and hung up on me after I told him I didn't like him laughing at me. Interesting that some people think they can treat other people any way they want to but the other person isn't allowed to say anything about it. I guess it has to do with his perceived power and dominence over me. It's also pretty clear that there's a serious lack of love, regard, or respect for me as well.
I was telling a friend earlier that I know I just need to forget about my parents completely. But how do I do that? Can someone tell me how?