maarmie's musings

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Beam Scotty up!

Tomorrow, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan will be yesterday's news! President Bush today "accepted McClellan's resignation."

Members of the White House Press Corps have long been frustrated by McClellan, a seemingly idiotic man sent in to cover for an even more idiotic president. "The truth" and "full disclosure" were endangered terms around the White House before McClellan was hired, but, between June 2003 and now, McClellan stood poised as one of the gunmen who attempted to wipe them out altogether.

Reporters have been looking for honest answers from McClellan about more than just the slaughter in Iraq and intelligence issues. What they have seen has been something else altogether. They have seen Scotty sweat. They have seen Scotty stammer. They have seen Scotty deny. They have seen Scotty avoid. They have seen Scotty divert. They have seen Scotty blame. They have seen Scotty lie. And they have captured it on tape and in writing so we can feel like the fools we are for voting G.W. into office - twice!

McClellan was likely named press secretary at the beginning of the Iraq war when G.W. (his advisors) realized he would be needing someone expendable to stand in front of him and swallow the grenades he knew the press would be lobbing his way. He found that stooge in McClellan. Now, full of shrapnel and damn near death, McClellan is being replaced. Any sap who believes McClellan actually resigned probably believed everything he told us these past few years as he stood before us at the dais.

As of this moment, Tony Snow is the only person seriously in the running for the position. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that Snow is a commentator for Fox News and a longtime trusted Bush ally. I hope he - or whoever replaces McClellan - is good at distorting facts with grace. We may not get anything closer to "the truth" and "full disclosure" out of the next press secretary, but maybe we'll get the lies fed to us with a little more panache and a little less perspiration.


ceci n'est pas mon nom said...

I'd never heard of the "late" Mr McClellan before (or Mr Scott: I seem to be confusing him with the boldly-going starship engineer who did indeed beam up and out a few months ago), but having read this, I now feel strangely sympathetic to this latter-day Everyman that you capture so well. There's a bit of Scotty in all of us, I'd say.

maarmie said...

I dare say there is...

Annie said...

I don't know if you caught this story in the Washington Post. First Andy Card, then Scott McClellen, then Karl Rove and now . . . Well, here's the story

I enjoyed your post and hope you enjoy this little article/parody.

maarmie said...