maarmie's musings

Monday, April 17, 2006

No Sex for You (from Me)!

As much as I hate to say it, I likely won't be having sex again anytime soon. Normally, I like hot sex, illicit sex and kinky sex and/or any combination thereof - and plenty of it - and have, in recent months, been sexually active with both men and women. Orgasms and general good feelings aside, the sex has been somewhat experimental but not always fulfilling. Sometimes, it couldn't be classified as "good" or even as "sex." All of it left me wanting something more. More illicit and kinky, that is.

After a two-year self-imposed hiatus, I broke down and spread my legs for a guy I had had a crush on (and lusted for) for eight years. Orgasms, yes, and loud ones at that. Imagine. You're hot for this incredibly sexy guy (or girl) for eight years and you finally get your chance? Not only does the guy in question have that manly Jersey swagger and attitude, those big brown eyes, longer-than-I-don't-know-what eyelashes and style out the wazoo but he also *gasp!* kisses better than I ever imagined and has that touch of femininity that, combined with said swagger, would drive any woman bananas. I'm telling you, the boy's got game. He wasn't as kinky as I had hoped, but the fact that he was a journalist at the time made up for all that.

The secret is out now. maarmie will give it up gladly for most any writer, no questions asked. In my book, the ability to string words together well is a strong aphrodesiac. Stronger, anyway, than my ability to resist.

Before Mr. Former Journalist, I kicked off my knickers with a duo: a guy and a girl. Although there was no penile penetration, I enjoyed my first no-holds-barred sexual experience with another female. We did it all. Need I say more?

(I'm sure most of you guys out there would like me to say more and, perhaps, provide photographs. Too bad! Provide me with enough cashola, and I'll provide you with a live show. Capisce?)

Now, I'm on another hiatus (masturbation aside) until the right offer comes along. I'm not entirely sure what this right offer will include, but I'll know it when I see it.


Jeremy said...

I'd enjoy seeing much of what you described, but I just spent $85 on a new wireless laser mouse. What can I see if I send you bus fare to Minneapolis and an Arby's 5 for $5.95 coupon?

Oh, and the bus ticket is one way--laser mouse, remember?

maarmie said...

Hm...lessee. A one-way Greyhound ticket and a 5 for $5.95 coupon will get you a really, really good time with me, big boy. Dinner? You cook!

D.G. T.B. said...

Get a room, remember?

Jeremy said...

*counts the change in his jar*

Cooking??? I just want hot lesbo action, not a relationship. Deal off.

Oh, but how can I stay mad at you. Here's the coupon anyway. I'm doing you a solid I hope you know. There are certain neighborhoods around here where that would get me a handjob with a finger up my ass.

maarmie said...

Way harsh, dude. I thought we were friends.

Horny Old Guy said...

Well glad you at least made an exception for masturbation! We don't want to get too carried away! Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Judy does not approve of this posting.

maarmie said...

Sorry, Judy!